I attended the 0315 Vigil service (Office of the Hours) and the 0615 Lauds service. As a group, the monks and I attended Morning Mass at Saint Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church in Saint Cloud. I really enjoyed Mass and Holy Communion.

A few minutes after leaving the church property, I began to feel the magnitude, seriousness, and severity of the decision I was considering - of entering as a pre-postulant into a monastery that subscribes to the Order of Cistercians of the Strict Observance lifestyle. I began to realize that I would be giving up my personal freedom to travel and to come and go as I chose, that I would be required to submit to the abbot's authority over all aspects of my life, that in helping to found this monastery I would be helping to create another location of the monastic order which rejected me because of my age.

During the drive from Saint Cloud to Keynensville, approximately 35 miles, the second in command Brother and I talked about what I was feeling. Our conversation was friendly and non-argumentative. When we arrived in Keynensville, I asked that Brother to take me to a motel in Saint Cloud or Kissimmee. I told him I would pay for the gas and give him a small monetary gift for his 'taxi' service - and I did.

I arrived at this motel in Kissimmee at 1500 this afternoon. I am trying to relax, to feel good and positive about my decision to exit from the monastery. I do feel good about speaking my mind, in a non-critical manner, and good about putting words into action - leaving. I sincerely hope my visit and exit does not have adverse effects upon the brothers and leaders of the monastery. The monastery has frequent short-term visitors; so, my quick in-and-out should have minimum effect on them.