September 6, 2008

After 17+ years without contact with my older daughter, we met tonight for a brief visit. I barely recognized the woman I met. She has physically matured into a very attractive woman. She says she is "broken inside", that it is "all my fault" she is broken, and that she needed to meet with me in order to facilitate her healing. I met with her because I needed to see her, to help her as much as she will allow, to ask her forgiveness for whatever she holds against me. The meeting lasted about an hour.

My daughter asked me about my first marriage/divorce, to/from her mother; why I left my hometown when she (my older daughter) was a young child; why I broke off communication with her 17+ years ago; about other aspects of my life which effected her; about my younger daughter.

I answered her questions, and provided as much background and anciliary information as I thought appropriate. There are many details and facts about people and events she was not interested in learning. Several pieces of information which I provided she ignored or refused to discuss.

She left with whatever information she asked for. I tried to explain myself and give her insights into my childhood, parents, siblings, marriages/divorces, and adult life. I did not receive from her either acknowledgement or acceptance that I am also a person with emotional and spiritual needs, that I was also "broken" at an early age, that I asked for and received God's forgiveness for my sins and mistakes. She did not forgive me.